The myth of the quick fix
June 17th, 2008 by Carol WoodliffI’m safely back at home and so happy I made the trip to see my Mom and sister. The family trips which are not a vacation are an important thing to do. Often when we are asked to list our priorities, we say family first but then our actions actually put the priority somewhere else. I know I’ve certainly missed calling my mom due to work constraints. I’m happy when I take actions that are in line with my true priorities. And that trip home no matter how sad or emotional was definitely in line with my priorities of honoring family.
This morning in my email, I got a notice from another coach for a teleclass. The subject line of the email was–”Erase all self doubts tonight!” I smile to myself when I see coaches and authors trying to sell materials with those sort of headlines. Oh if it were only that easy! Yes we all can have epiphanies where everything changes and like a miracle the way we look at the world changes. But more often change comes through consistent action toward a goal. And when it comes to self-doubt, even some of our most successful people still have doubts.
I remember a couple of years ago, Meryl Streep was on Oprah and she was saying that after she signs on for a role she often calls her agent and says–”I can’t do that role you have to get me out of it.” Whether you are a Meryl Streep fan or not–you have to admit she’s one accomplished actress. And she has gotten there not because she got rid of her self-doubt but because she acted in spite of the doubt.
I firmly believe we can reduce our tendency to self-doubt and increase our ability to take action. But the quick fix is one of the myths that I think that coaches and hypnotherapists must take care in advocating. I hear it often. “I tried hypnosis once–it didn’t work for me.” When I ask about the person’s experience of hypnosis–I hear that they had one session and it didn’t work to change their lives. The expectation was so huge so therefore the let down was just as huge.
There are a few people who have the quick life altering change but for most people change is gradual. Change is gradual because we like it that way. It is more comfortable for us. So what we really have to ask ourselves–am I ready to change everything today? Am I ready to totally change everything about my life? Or am I someone who would prefer to ease into it? Be honest. It will help you determine how fast you can make a change. If total transformation now sounds good to you–go for it. If like me, you need some time to adjust and lock in new habits while keeping some familiarity–don’t kick yourself for not being able to make instantaneous change happen today. I think we are in the majority. The true test is not whether change is fast or slow–it is whether we keep the commitment to ourselves to keep working on it. Keep working on it, in spite of our doubts or fears.
What’s one thing you are trying to change that would benefit from you releasing your expectation of a quick fix?
